Recently,
while poring over bits and pieces from my school years, I encountered an uneven
scrap of notebook paper with scribbling on it. Turns out it was a bona fide
“Note to Self” and dated 2/26/80, which places its author—me—in my senior year
of high school.
What I can
say for sure about this day in February 1980: It was a Tuesday and a leap year,
so there was a Friday, February 29. I had taken a school sick day but cannot say for certain
whether I was physically ill or not. I’d hazard a guess it was the latter. I
was, though, experiencing some measure of angst—the “I dread returning to that
sickening place” is the giveaway.
I have no
recollection of writing this “Note to Self” and headlining it “Feelings
Tonight.” Likewise, I don’t recall what was troubling me thirty-three years ago
on that late winter’s eve. Suffice it to say, I didn’t enjoy my high school
experience all that much. If memory serves, however, my senior year was the
least objectionable of the four. So, the timing of this “Note to Self” is surprising.
The most
intriguing detail within this particular “Note to Self” is: “To be taken out
on June 27.” This was the scheduled date for we seniors to pick up our diplomas,
I believe, and the last day I would ever again set foot in that “sickening
place.” Strange, but I do remember authoring occasional notes with the “To be
taken out on” tag. “To be read on” would be my suggested adult edit. Anyway, it
was a teenager’s method of underscoring the reality that “this too shall pass.”
I must
admit that there was an obvious glitch in the “Note to Self” series. My various
messages ended up not being read—“taken out,” as it were—on the
prescribed days. And this was integral to the whole "Note to Self" exercise.
Still, the point’s been made, I guess—most problems come and go. Ditto for
other “Notes to Self” that I have yet read and may never read.
(Photo
from the personal collection of Nicholas Nigro)
