Movin' on Up or Down?

(Originally published 11/10/18)

This morning—a breezy and chilly one for this time of year—I was approached by a man with a business card in hand. Not a good start to the day! Foremost, this fellow wanted to know if I knew of anyone looking to buy or sell a home. I said that I did not. Not missing a beat, he then asked, "When are you thinking of moving?" This guy was making plenty of assumptions about me with that question, I thought, which he could not know, and crashing through my wall, too—and before the clock even struck ten! Despite it not being any of this real estate bloke's business, I paraphrased Mario Cuomo and said, "I have no plans on moving and no plans to make plans." Absolutely true in that exact snapshot in time. For the historical record, Cuomo uttered something similar—sans the moving part—when being badgered about whether he was going to run for president in 1988 and again in 1992. He was presidential timber du jour in those bygone days. And now for some further observations and recollections...

Oh, yes, the hawk has landed...in Van Cortlandt Park!

Pigeon, a Bronx delicacy, and an early Thanksgiving feast on the apropos barbecue grounds.

The "HUTE MASTE": Jack of all trades, master of none?

It was pouring rain this past Tuesday, Election Day, when I cast my ballot, which got a little wet in the process. Mine was not the only soggy vote. Courtesy of Mother Nature's deluge and our wet paper ballots, the various machines that scanned them ceased doing what they were supposed to be doing. Voters at my precinct, including me, had to slide our ballots into an "Emergency Ballot Box." There is a first time for everything.

When I ordered two scoops of chocolate ice cream at a local diner last night, I did not anticipate eating a pint's worth. For every action there is a reaction.

Many years ago, a friend of mine attended a free actor's workshop in Manhattan. The guest speaker was none other than Alec Baldwin. According to my pal, the man was quite gracious and patiently answered all questions posed. Of course, my friend had taken mass transit to the event that night and was not vying with Baldwin for a parking spot.

Wonder Woman's preferred clothier?

Speaking of superheroes, the Man of Steel must remember to take his garbage with him. This is not the 1970s!

Straight-line clouds, deep-blue skies, and the building where a man nicknamed "Q-ball" lives. Two out of three ain't bad.

It is one big hill and a park to boot: Ewen in the Bronx

The Purple Testament...but to what...in Ewen Park on the day after Halloween.

This Bud's for you...or the first can and bottle collector...who ascends or descends the formidable stairs of Ewen Park.

Johnny Carson: "They are so friendly!" Johnny Carson Audience: "How friendly are they?" Me: Not as friendly as you might think.

When Frosty the Snowman rides in a New York City subway car...

This is the end-result...

To get out those stubborn Escargots de Bourgogne stains, this is obviously the place for you...

This is not a homeless man. He is a wizened New Yorker who just put his smartphone in his pocket. You know...somebody once said, "Everything happens in threes." Chinese tradition holds that the number is a lucky one. In my religious upbringing, God was an amalgam of Three Persons—the Trinity—as if one were not enough. Come and knock on our door...

(Photos from the personal collection of Nicholas Nigro)