(Originally
published 11/22/20)
I had
almost forgotten about her:
Eggs Omelet Style. I do not know her real
name, so that is her given handle. I would on occasion see her—once upon a
time—in our mutually favorite diner. But I had not encountered her—until
yesterday—since the pre-pandemic days: that simpler snapshot in time before all
New York City eateries were relegated to takeout and delivery orders only. They
can now operate at twenty-five percent indoor capacity—but for how long is the
question? I have yet to return for a sit-down meal.
Anyway, I
am happy to report that Eggs Omelet Style is none the worse for wear and has
thus far weathered the pandemic. Why, you ask, the curious moniker? Elementary:
That is how this woman wanted her breakfast eggs cooked in the diner. Despite a
high-strung waitress explaining to her that there was no such choice available,
Eggs Omelet Style was unbowed. She would not accept that scrambled, over-easy,
sunny side-up, etc., were the be-all and end-all and continued to demand her
eggs be cooked “omelet style.” Her exasperated brother and dining companion
vainly attempted to calm the stormy seas.
Full
disclosure: Eggs Omelet Style is a bit off, if you will, and prone to turn trivial
matters into high drama. Not surprisingly, the eggs omelet style request—with
an inflexible, harried waitress—inspired an increasingly contentious scene.
Fortunately, the diner’s long-time cook, who knew Eggs Omelet Style’s myriad
idiosyncrasies, extinguished the fire when he came over to the table and said:
“No problem. I will make your eggs omelet style. He served her up a couple of
runny scrambled eggs with her bacon and all was well.
If I were
Eggs Omelet Style’s sibling, I would take a pass on dining with her in a public
setting. She would be on my
no dine-list for sure. Going out to eat, for
me, is meant to be a pleasant experience, a break from the norm, and free of
awkward incidents. Certain people will always find fault with something: the
food, the seating inside the dining room, the noise level. If you want to play
twenty questions with the waiter or waitress, forgive me if I stay home and
have a pizza delivered. Eggs Omelet Style has no doubt made special lunch and
dinner requests, too. I know this fellow who asks the restaurant staff he is
patronizing if the chef can make him something that is not on their extensive
menu. Seriously, if you go to an Italian restaurant with a substantive roster
of house specialties, do you really need to special request broccoli and
spaghetti, which is not among them?
(Photos
from the personal collection of Nicholas Nigro)
